After The Rain
by Saruvi
Summary: What happens when Axel loses control and rapes Roxas? How will the two cope with it?


**Disclaimer: **The characters Roxas and Axel and other Kingdom Hearts chars belong to Disney and Square Enix.

**A/N:** I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas!

--

It was raining the night Axel took Roxas for the first time. Plunging into the sixteen year old body laying underneath him had Axel gasping in pleasure at the tightness of his lover. He didn't feel the tensing up of Roxas' body, or the scream that Roxas bit back, or the tears that slid from the blue eyes as they widened with pain.

"Axel, no, I'm not ready," Roxas cried. Axel either ignored him or didn't hear him. Roxas figured Axel hadn't heard him, the redhead being too far gone in his own desire.

As Axel thrust in and out of the smaller body, he was amazed at the feelings he had for the tiny blond. But he didn't realize it was hurting Roxas. He didn't realize Roxas didn't want this. That the boy wasn't ready for sex. All that Axel could see was his own desire and lust. And so, with that clouding his mind, he had taken Roxas.

Roxas' tears mingled with Axel's kisses. The redhead kept thrusting into him and god, did that hurt. Roxas cried the whole time Axel took him. Axel didn't notice anything but the way it felt to be inside that tight heat. When Axel hit something deep inside Roxas, the blond arched up and cried out. Axel knew he had hit Roxas' sweet spot. The blond was shivering as Axel pulled out then plunged back into him.

Axel had never behaved like this. Not so sexually charged. This change in the redhead scared Roxas. Axel's kisses and touches had made Roxas want more and that scared him more than the change in Axel. He _wanted_ to do more. He _needed_ to do more. But he had told Axel no. Axel hadn't stopped.

White light spread out from his vision as Roxas gasped at the feeling of his prostate being hit over and over. His tears still falling, his body convulsed as he came. Axel grunted as he pushed in as deep as he could go, releasing a second later. When he pulled out of Roxas, the blond winced. Axel noticed some of his semen leak out of Roxas tinged with red. And his member was coated a crimson color.

As Roxas lay there broken, Axel used a sheet to wipe Roxas off. His green eyes widened slightly when he saw the blood. He finished cleaning Roxas off then cleaned himself.

Roxas needed to know why Axel had taken him so... violently and without consent. He hadn't even prepared the boy properly. He just couldn't find his voice. Did this mean Axel had raped him? Even if he had an orgasm did it still make it rape? Roxas didn't know. He didn't understand.

The inner turmoil that Axel felt had finally broken the dam. He just had to have Roxas. He couldn't wait any longer. He even knew that without consent from his best friend, it would be rape. But he couldn't stop.

Axel felt disgusted. He had raped his best friend. He knew it was rape. Roxas had told him no and he had continued. He felt sick. He felt the bile rise up into his throat and he jumped off the bed, running for the bathroom where he threw up. Emptying his stomach had his heart sinking at what he had done.

"Axel, why?" Roxas whispered, standing in the doorway. He had a sheet wrapped around him like a cocoon.

"Shit, Roxy, I don't know why! I couldn't stop," Axel muttered, as he leaned against the bathtub waiting for his stomach to settle down.

"I told you no! And you did it anyway!" Roxas screamed. He began crying and he fell to the floor, his hands covering his face. His body hurting.

Axel scooted over and grabbed the boy in his arms, pulling him into his lap. Roxas struggled at first, not wanting Axel to touch him again, but then he settled down as he suddenly felt weak. He shuddered as tears rolled down his face. His blue eyes flooded like the ocean. Their color darkened with his tears.

"I'm so sorry Roxas! Please I'm so sorry!" Axel crooned. "Please you gotta forgive me."

"Axel," Roxas said, his teeth chattering as his lips trembled.

"Sorry so sorry," Axel kept mumbling into Roxas' hair.

"You hurt me so much Axel. I don't... know if I can forgive you," Roxas whispered.

He disentangled himself from his best friend's embrace, shakily standing up. "I'm going home. Please, leave me alone," Roxas told Axel.

Axel had really fucked up. He knew. He had done the worst thing to someone that could be done. And he'd done it to Roxas! His best friend. The love of his life. He'd raped him. He hadn't even made sure the boy enjoyed it until the end. When Roxas had climaxed, it had still been rape.

--

Roxas walked to his house, which was three houses down from Axel's. They were always neighbors ever since they had been born. Roxas' first memories were of a small redhead who liked to laugh and tug him around with him. It had stopped raining. But Roxas still felt miserable.

It had always been Roxas and Axel. They were so close. As close as you can be without having a boyfriend/boyfriend relationship. Though, some people, like Roxas' twin brother Sora, considered them a couple. Like Sora was with Riku. But Roxas and Axel didn't want to ruin the closeness they shared, so they never made it official.

But in all actuality, it was as though they _were_ a couple. That they _were_ dating. Now though, Roxas had no where left to go. If this had happened to him with someone other than Axel, he would have ran to the redhead to spill his heartache out. Being his best friend, Axel would have held him and listened to him. Now, he had no one to go to but Sora.

How would Sora react when he told him that Axel had raped him? Wait, it was rape right? Roxas was still unsure of this fact. He had eventually enjoyed having Axel having sex with him. So does that mean it wasn't rape? But he had said no, so it had to be.

Roxas sighed to himself as he entered his house. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Seeing no one, he ran up the stairs to his room. Closing the door quietly, he sat on his bed. He didn't know what to do now. He had told Axel to leave him alone. But did he really mean that? How could he cope without Axel in his life?

"Why did you do this to me Axel?" Roxas cried, burying his face in his hands.

He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, then stood up. Undressing, he jumped into the shower to clean himself off. His backside still hurt and he winced as he cleaned there. After his shower, he changed into fresh boxers and a t shirt. He laid in bed. He cried himself to sleep.

--

A happy voice invaded his sleep. He refused to wake up though. Not until the owner of the voice jumped on his bed and yelled for him to wake up.

"Roxas! Wake up!" Sora screamed, tugging the pillow out from under his head.

"Sora, go away. I'm trying to sleep," Roxas mumbled.

Sora picked up Roxas' shorts and tossed them at his blond twin. He then gasped. There was blood on the shorts. Roxas was hurt.

"Roxy! You're hurt! There's blood on your shorts. Where are you hurt?" Sora asked in a jumble of words. Used to the way his excited brother spoke, Roxas understood what the boy was asking him.

"I-it's nothing," Roxas said, tossing the shorts to the floor.

Sora picked them up and inspected them. The blood was only on the back. In a certain spot. Nothing on the front. Only on the back could only mean one thing.

"Roxas, were you raped?" Sora asked, his voice strained.

Roxas looked away from Sora. How could he tell his twin what happened?

"Roxas, please! Tell me what happened," Sora insisted. He sat on the bed, the shorts still clutched in his hand.

"Fine. Yes. I was raped. But, it's complicated Sora," Roxas replied.

"Complicated how? You were raped! We need to tell mom and dad. We need take you..." Sora was cut off by Roxas.

"No! We are_ not_ telling mom and dad! And it's complicated because... well, it was Axel," Roxas admitted.

"A-Axel did this to you?" Sora asked, he was shocked. "But, why?"

"I think he lost control. He wasn't himself when he was doing it. I told him no and it was like he didn't hear me. He just kept going. And, eventually, I enjoyed it. Does that still make it rape if I got off?" Roxas asked.

"Yes! It does if you said no. Why would Axel do this?" Sora wondered.

"I don't know. Like I said, I think he lost control. I just, didn't want to have sex right now. I wasn't ready. But, he wouldn't listen to me. He just kept going. Sora, what am I going to do? I told him to leave me alone," Roxas said, and began crying.

Sora took him into his arms and tried to comfort his twin. He didn't understand this. Axel loved Roxas. Why would he hurt him so badly?

"I don't know how to live without him Sora. But I don't know how to forgive him," Roxas sobbed.

"It'll be alright Roxy. I promise. You'll get through this," Sora said, trying to soothe his brother.

Roxas eventually fell back to sleep with Sora holding him. Sora laid his brother down and covered him up with the blanket. He took Roxas' clothing and threw them into the wash so their parents wouldn't see and ask questions.

--

Roxas refused to speak to Axel. He refused to deal with the aftermath of what Axel had done to him. He began to eat less and less, his depression becoming worse and worse the more days he went without his best friend.

He wanted to see Axel. He really did. He just didn't know what to say. He didn't know how they could get past what happened. Eventually, Roxas had enough. He _had_ to talk to Axel. So, two weeks after the incident, Axel was sitting alone at one of the lunch tables while Roxas sat with Riku and Sora. Roxas got up and made his way over to Axel's table.

The redhead didn't look so well. He'd lost some weight and that was a big thing since he was really skinny to begin with. His normally bright emerald eyes were dull with pain and his skin was pale. Even his red spiky hair was droopy. Roxas felt his heart clench looking at his best friend.

"Axel," Roxas said, putting a hand on the redhead's shoulder.

Axel looked up, tears in his eyes. He blinked and looked away.

"Please, Roxas, go away. I don't... I don't want to hurt you again," Axel pleaded.

"Please Axel, come sit with Riku, Sora and I. Please. Let's just... forget it happened," Roxas begged.

"I... I can't. Oh god Roxas. What I did to you. I can't. I can't just forget it," Axel breathed out, his tears fell down his pale cheeks.

He stood up. Running a hand through his red spikes, he spoke softly as he raised a hand to caress Roxas' cheek.

"I don't think we should see each anymore. I don't think we should be friends. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I really am. But I think it's better to be without you," Axel told him, dropping his hand.

"Why? We can deal with this," Roxas said.

"No. I can't. I am sorry. Really. Please, go away," Axel replied, picking up his empty lunch tray, he walked away.

Roxas stood there, the tears that had threatened to spill finally releasing from his blue eyes. He collapsed on the ground.

--

He woke up in the nurse's office. Sora and Riku were there.

"So, one of you going to tell me what's going on with Axel?" Riku asked. Sora tensed beside him.

"Roxas, it's up to you. It happened to you," Sora said.

"What happened? You and Axel are so distant from one another it's scary," Riku commented.

"Axel raped me two weeks ago," Roxas said.

"What the hell? Why didn't you tell me?" Riku exclaimed.

"I wanted to forget it. But Axel, he won't. He won't be my friend anymore," Roxas told them.

"He said that?" Sora asked.

Roxas nodded. "Yeah, he said he was sorry for what he did to me. That he thinks it's better to be without me so he won't hurt me again. Then, he said we shouldn't be friends anymore and he walked away."

"Oh my god. Roxas. I am so sorry!" Sora said, his blue eyes filling with tears. Riku took his boyfriend in his arms, patting his back.

Riku and Sora walked Roxas home. Sora helped Roxas get into bed. The blond just wanted to sleep. But his mind wouldn't stop going over what Axel had said to him that afternoon at lunch.

_I don't think we should see each anymore. _

_But I think it's better to be without you._

_I can't just forget it._

_I don't think we should be friends._

_Please, go away._

Everything ran through his mind again, and he broke down. Crying into his pillow.

--

It was raining again and Axel wasn't doing so well himself. He was severely depressed. It had been four months since the rape. He still couldn't understand what had made him lose control. He couldn't understand what had made him hurt his best friend. He'd never thought he would be capable of doing what he did, but he had. He felt sick.

He knew he loved Roxas. That blond hair, those big blue eyes. He loved everything about the boy. Everyday he thought about making love to Roxas. And he felt he could wait until the blond was ready. Until they were an official couple. But, Roxas laying on his bed that day, looking at him, laughing with him caused him to lose control of his senses and just go for it.

So it wouldn't happen again, he thought the only thing to do was walk totally away from Roxas. To keep from hurting him again. To punish himself, he gave up the one thing he loved the most. Because he couldn't forget it happened. Because he wouldn't forget what he did.

_You're sick. You raped your best friend and look what happened? Go cut yourself and end your life. Because you're not worthy of his love_, his mind screamed.

The blade in his hand was shining in the bathroom light. It hurt as he sliced his arm. Watching the blood, so very like Roxas' own that night, he cried as he cut again and again. The crimson liquid dripping to the floor. Staining the tiles. He was a mess.

Suddenly, his cell phone went off. He looked at the screen. Roxas. He hadn't spoken to the boy in four months.

**Axel, I love you, **was all it said. And that made him cut again. He refused to reply.

Another message came shortly afterwards. He wouldn't reply to this one either.

**Please Axel, we can get through this. I forgive you.**

Axel was beside himself. How could Roxas love him when he'd raped him? When he'd taken his virginity without his permission.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. He didn't answer. He couldn't find his voice. He was still staring down at the phone. The door opened. There was Roxas, standing there. Holding his cell in his hands.

--

"Oh Axel! You idiot!" Roxas said, dropping his phone and rushing into the bathroom. He grabbed a towel and pressed it to the cuts on Axel's arm.

"Hold this," he commanded as he turned on the faucet and ran another towel under the water, wetting it enough to wash off the blood on his friend's arm.

"Why?" Axel asked.

"Because, despite what you did I can't live without you," Roxas said, kneeling down and washing up the blood. The cuts weren't deep enough to kill. It seemed that Roxas had gotten there just in time. Who knew how deeply Axel would have ended up cutting himself.

"Roxas. What I did. I can't forget it. It keeps running through my mind. I can't forgive myself," Axel whispered.

"But I can forgive you. So you need to forgive yourself. Axel. I love you. I love you so much!" Roxas cried. He tossed the towel into the sink, shutting off the water. He dried and bandaged the cuts.

"Why would you forgive me? I raped you," Axel said.

"I know. And only you can make up for it. Only you can show me that it's not always like that. That it doesn't break you or hurt you. That it doesn't destroy you," Roxas explained.

Axel tilted his head. He stared at Roxas. The boy he still loved.

"What are you saying?" Axel asked.

"I want... I want you to make love to me properly. I want you Axel. I need you so much. These past few months have been hell without you. I missed you terribly. But you wouldn't talk to me and I hated being without you," Roxas rushed out, "I need you Axel."

"Roxas, what if... what if I lose control again and hurt you? I couldn't take it happening again," Axel asked. His voice sounded worried and strained. His emerald eyes were filled with pain.

"You won't. I am giving you my permission to take me. Please. Please make it count," Roxas said, grabbing Axel's hands and tugging the taller boy with him out of the bathroom.

"Please make it right Axel. Please make the nightmares go away," Roxas pleaded, standing up on his toes to kiss Axel on the lips.

Axel sniffled as he cried, but he kissed Roxas back. His arms coming around to hold the boy he loved close to him. His tongue pressed against Roxas' lips, begging for entrance. He would do this right this time. He would make this time count. He would wipe the memory of violence away from them both and leave in it's wake only pleasure.

"I love you so much Roxas," Axel breathed, as he pulled away.

Roxas' eyes were half lidded and he whispered back, "I love you too Axel. Please Axel, take me."

"I have to get something. I have to prepare you properly this time," Axel said, walking away from Roxas and rummaging in his nightstand for the bottle of lotion he knew he had in there.

Roxas slowly undressed himself. Kicking his boxers and jeans out of the way, he walked over to the bed and laid down on it.

"Roxas, I... I want to touch you first. I want this to be good for you. I want to make love to you, not just take you," Axel told him, undressing himself.

He laid down next to Roxas. He noticed the confusion in the blond's blue eyes.

"I didn't make love to you the last time Roxas. I took you without preparing you the right way and it must have hurt so badly. I'm sorry I did it that way. I want to touch you and make you writhe and scream my name and beg me to be inside you. I want to feel you squirming underneath me. I want to feel every movement you make and when you can't stand it anymore, I will enter you and make you mine," Axel explained.

"Oh god, Axel, yes, _please. _Make me yours. Make it good," Roxas struggled to speak. His throat was closing up as Axel touched him.

Trailing a hand down Roxas' chest had the blond sucking in a breath. His back arching up as cold air fought with the heat flushing his body. Axel leaned over and kissed him on the lips, sucking on his bottom lip, slipping his tongue inside the moist cavern. He rolled his tongue around, fighting for dominance with Axel's own.

Axel won and licked every inch of Roxas' mouth. Roxas keened and arched up, his body flush against Axel's body, their erections touching and making both boys gasp. Axel groaned. Roxas panted, trailing a hand down Axel's chest, fingertips circling around one of Axel's nipples. Axel attached his lips to Roxas' neck. Sucking on the pulse, he lifted his head, noticing the mark he'd left there.

"Mine Roxy," Axel whispered.

"Always," Roxas whispered back.

"Thank you for forgiving me and allowing me this," Axel said.

Roxas smiled. A brilliant smile on those soft pouty lips of his had Axel's breath hitching. He loved this boy so much. And he would never hurt him again. He had this second chance and he wouldn't mess it up.

"Please Axel. I don't think I can wait for you anymore. I need you inside me," Roxas moaned as Axel's fingers played with his erection.

"Okay baby," Axel told him, grabbing the lotion. He popped the cap and squeezed some onto his fingers, then brought them to Roxas' entrance. "This will hurt a bit."

"I don't care. I want you anyway. And it won't hurt for long. I know," Roxas gasped as a finger slid into him. He cried out in pain as a second and third finger joined the first. Axel swirled them around, hooking around the rim of Roxas' entrance.

"God, that feels weird," Roxas commented, lifting up his hips. Axel pressed something inside him and Roxas screamed out in pleasure. That same white light clouding his eyes and he arched up, his back taut as a bowstring.

"A-Axel! _Please_!" Roxas screamed.

"Okay okay. Calm down baby," Axel told him, trying to push Roxas' hips down. When he succeeded, he pressed the tip of his member into Roxas' body. Roxas tensed up, then relaxed as a wave of pleasure flooded his being.

The boy was beautiful. By the time Axel was fully embedded inside Roxas, the boy's body was glistening with sweat and his hair was damp. Blond bangs sticking to his forhead. Blue eyes hazy with desire. Half lidded with pleasure.

"You're so beautiful Roxas," Axel whispered as he pulled out halfway then plunged back in.

Roxas began crying. And Axel thought he was hurting him, "Roxy?"

"I'm alright. It's... it's wonderful Axel. It's everything it should be and more. I love you. Please don't ever leave me again," Roxas cried, clutching Axel's shoulders.

"I won't. I promise. You proved we can get over anything if we just love each other. I love you so much Roxas," Axel huffed, as he thrust in and out of the smaller body.

Roxas writhed underneath him, his fingernails digging into Axel's shoulders and back. But Axel didn't care that it hurt. He was just loving the feeling of being inside his lover once again.

"Ah ah!" Roxas choked out as heat flushed his body once more and he climaxed with a shudder, arching up as Axel thrust into him one last time, releasing himself into Roxas.

Roxas was sore and tired. And he wanted nothing more than to curl up in Axel's arms and sleep. Pulling out, Axel used a spare sheet to clean them up. He was happy to see there was no blood this time.

Roxas curled up beside Axel when the redhead grabbed him and cuddled him in his arms. The two holding onto each other. Axel was happy the boy had forgiven him and he would make sure he was worthy of that forgiveness.

"When you said you couldn't live without me, I want you to know, I can't live without you either. I was willing to die than spend my life without you by me," Axel whispered in the dark, he was stroking Roxas' hair.

"Please Axel, never try to kill yourself again. Promise me you won't. I meant what I said. I can't live without you," Roxas said.

"I promise. And you don't have to. Thank you for this. I just want to be worthy of your love," Axel told him.

"You are. You always were. Let's sleep now. I think I'll want to try this again when we wake up," Roxas murmured, yawning.

"Is that so?" Axel asked, chuckling. He felt Roxas nod.

"That's so. Sleep Axel. You need your rest," Roxas replied. He yawned again. He closed his eyes, snoring lightly, he was finally able to sleep peacefully after four months without Axel.

Covering them with a blanket, Axel marveled at the ability of Roxas to forgive him. At the amazing love this boy had for him. It overwhelmed him and he smiled before he fell asleep.


End file.
